Everything I read about spanking, seems to be heavily linked to a BDSM lifestyle. Whether it is an informative article, or in a story, it always seems to connect back to BDSM, with the spanking being about control and punishment. I'm not stupid, nor am I naive, I KNOW that spanking does fall into the category of BDSM. I know a lot of dominants enjoy spanking their subs, I know that a lot of subs enjoy being spanked... and all the more power to them!!!
I'm not here to 'bash' the BDSM lifestyle, because there are aspects of it which fascinate me! It's not a lifestyle I wish to lead, but I know plenty of couples who do, and every single one of them seem to have amazingly strong relationships... which is more than I can say about some of the 'vanilla' couples I know! Who gives a fuck what other people do in their private life?
But you know what? Doms and subs, BDSM aside, some of us enjoy spanking our better half simply because THEY ENJOY IT.
Yes. You heard it. Sometimes a person just wants to be spanked for the pure pleasure of it. They don't want it to be a 'punishment', they don't want to feel at the mercy of the spanker, they don't need to be taught a lesson, they don't want to be controlled, they don't want to test their limit to see how much they can take; they want to be spanked because it feels good, because it turns them on, because it's a way of expressing their love. Please note, I'm not saying none of those reasons are applicable when it comes to spanking as part of the BDSM lifestyle!
It wasn't that long into our relationship that my wife first mentioned the idea of being spanked was something that turned her on. To start with it confused me a little, I couldn't understand why the thought of having pain inflicted would be a turn on for her, but when we spoke about it more, I realised it was similar to my desire to be tied up and teased to within an inch of my life.
When we finally got around to trying it, I was quite nervous. I didn't want to hurt her, I didn't want the experience to be a bad one for her... but I needn't have worried. With that very first palm/ass contact I realised the experience was causing nothing but pleasure or her. She got hornier than I had ever seen her get, and it happened a lot faster than I was used to. It was obvious to me she was loving it. I knew there was an element of pain to it - my palm was red and tingly, she had a bright red handprint on her ass - but with the moans and cries coming from her there was no denying she was enjoying herself!
I wouldn't say spanking has become an every day part of our relationship, but it is something I enjoy doing to her, PURELY because of how much enjoyment she gets out of it. There isn't the slightest element of domination to it for me, there isn't the slightest element of submission in it for her. We have spoken about it in depth, the reasons she enjoys it, the reasons I enjoy doing it to her... and have come up with the conclusion it is one of our special little kinks. Something we do for the fun of it, for the pleasure, the enjoyment... the amazing foreplay qualities!
I know that we aren't the only couple out there who enjoy spanking, without BDSM coming into it. I do feel like we are in a minority though! Everything I have read about spanking, focuses on it being an aspect of the BDSM lifestyle... but for some of us, we just like the feel of a hot tingly palm, and the sight of our better half with a rosy red handprint on their ass.